Does working at home damage your family dynamic?
Working at home sounds extremely appealing to many parents. What beats being able to raise your own children, while also bringing in an income, and perhaps gaining some creative and intellectual fulfillment? But being a work-at-home parent may not be as great as you think initially. Lots of families make having home-based jobs work, and for many it’s a fantastic choice. But can working at home also damage your family dynamic?
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Before I had children, my job took me to countries all over the world. My life was exciting, but not family-friendly. I knew when we started trying for a baby that my career would change a lot. Being the mother of young children is hardly compatible with lots of international travel. But more than that, I was committed to raising my children myself, together with my husband, instead of outsourcing childrearing to a nanny, daycare center, or (worse), my mother-in-law. Still, I wasn’t quite prepared to be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted both the financial and intellectual benefits of paid work.
Work-at-home jobs may seem hard to find, but many professions do offer these opportunities to those who look around enough. I have been writing, translating, and teaching English to foreigners, since my first child was a tiny baby. During the first few months, it was idyllic. I seriously wondered why so many people said that working with a kid in tow is tough. I would put my little daughter in a sling, and breastfeed her when she started fussing. But of course, she stopped being quite so easy and portable after a while, and then I had another child. My kids are five and three years old now, and we’ve also decided to home school them in the meantime.
Does working at home damage our family dynamic? Well, sometimes I think it does. Working at home was the right choice for me and my family, there is no doubt about that. But the lines between work and family can become a bit blurred, and it sometimes seems as if work never ends. Other people leave their jobs and enjoy spending time with the family. For us, home-life and work are really intertwined. Rather than spending quality time with my husband, I may tell him to take the kids out so I can translate a book in peace. Or, instead of enjoying the evening together, I’ll be writing articles after the kids are asleep. Somehow, we manage to fit in school, work, and fun. Household duties… not so much (that’s the husband’s department!). Yes, I have to finish a translation while a whiny toddler is shouting in my ear at times. And yes, I do miss deadlines occasionally, because my children take priority.
Working at home may have its challenges, but it also offers the freedom and flexibility many people are jealous of. Unless I have an urgent deadline, we can go with the flow and take a day off to visit friends in another city, or spend the day at the beach. I have been there for all my children’s major and minor milestones. I don’t have a long commute that wastes time before I even start earning money, and I am free from office politics. Best of all, when I wake up in the morning, I get to enjoy my children’s smiles and cuddle them without a rush. We enjoy breakfast together, as a family and then decide how to spend the day — together.
